So I have a birthday update. Recently my mental health has been at a pretty steady 50/50, and my birthday (i.e. tomorrow) is when I have an actual first meeting with a counsellor. It’s during school, so I won’t be here at least for the beginning of the day. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but it’s kind of like a get-to-know-you meeting for the first one. I’m kind of excited, and kind of worried at the same time. I have a bunch of (unknown) problems with my mental health that I’ve told maximum 10 people as of now and I think it’ll be good to have someone else who is a trained professional in these premises about it who can help me and give me advice (even though I know a lot for someone of my age).
Also, after literal months of my mom talking about it after our dog died, I finally got to pick out a cremation necklace. It’s pretty and since I never heard of one until last year (long time, I know), I think it’s kind of a nice way for people who’ve been cremated to be remembered instead of sitting in an urn or a box for only god knows how long.
Speaking of death (I’m weird, okay), I’ve been thinking way too much of the “Helena” music video lately (it’s a good song, and if you like old rock with sad meanings behind it, go watch it). Like, imagine if your funeral went like that. Some random emo preacher yelling in front of a crowd of copy-paste people (because in 2004, that happened because you can’t fill that church in LA with enough people to make it look real) and crying on a not-even-dance floor when sing-screaming into a microphone while the crowd just sits and watches lifelessly. Also, a bunch of people creating a cult around your death bed and doing weird emo church movements. (Note: Revenge pants are very comfy, even when it’s 995894° (at least in summer, just don’t go outside)) <I had to sneak a way for me to geek out about My Chemical Romance in here somewhere
Also, not going outside (I’d prefer not to get skin cancer) (no, I’m not preach-y about it). Since I’m such a vampire, I basically never go outside and I look like the human embodiment of a sheet of loose leaf (funny, because I write on myself a lot), and I dress in black a lot. I saw this one story of some guys who got caught by the police at night and thought they were vampires. It was pretty cool. I feel like there’s this stereotype about emos and goths that they like sitting in cemeteries and are obsessed with blood, which isn’t that true (though, I could actually go to a cemetery any time I want to (I live a minute away from 2 of them). Sure, there are some people who do do that, and I think it’s mainly for aesthetic photos and weird posts. Personally, I’m not one to hang around a place full of dead bodies and graves, but the blood thing I don’t mind (as long as it’s fake, even though fake blood is sticky and a huge mess hint to joyriding music video). I’m not one of the people who’s deathly scared of blood, but in a situation where there’s a lot of it and it’s not under control, I might get a bit of adrenaline about it.
I like how this went from me talking about my therapy and birthday to just the most emo thing nowadays.