Month: June 2021

Hi, my name is Kara and if you’ve read some of my blogs, you might know that I like loud music, drawing, and writing a lot (in both ways). I’m in grade 7, so I won’t be going to high school next year, but I’m excited for grade 8. I’ll have the same teacher, but one down is probably that my friends aren’t in my class.

Some things that challenged me this year were probably my mental health. I’ve made a few posts on this, but I think it was mainly really bad at the beginning of this school year. COVID took a toll on all of us, I think, and I couldn’t focus on a lot of my work. I didn’t like the big change in routine at first, but I got really into it after a while.

What I hope to accomplish more next year is to be more focused on my work and my grades, but also working on myself as a human being person. I think one thing I start to do is really neglect my hobbies and mental health when I get too pressured with my work, and I really can work on doing stuff for me and not for school during the summer, so that’ll probably help. I also want to find some more things that I enjoy doing, because my hobbies are very limited currently. It’d help with my OWL presentations, and probably be a good fuel regenerator for me.

I think I definitely learned a lot this year, not just about myself but literally in class. Some things I really liked doing were blogging (obviously), doing OWL presentations (only the ones I actually liked i.e. the drawing ones), and ELA related stuff, reading books and what not. I got into journaling and my writing’s really improved (not that it was bad to begin with), and Writer’s Workshop was a fun activity to do. The presentations did give me some anxiety, which is weird because in grade 5/6, where I had very low self esteem and confidence, I could do a presentation perfectly and clearly. I have been getting better at my public speaking, though, so I’m not too worried about it.

All I’m really hoping for is that next year, we’ll be at least more normal than before, without masks and social distancing (I am still fidgety about not doing those protocols, but it would be way better especially for people who haven’t adjusted to COVID restrictions in the past 1.5 years. I personally have kind of gotten used to them, and I think it would take a while for me to get used to it not being like this. It would be better, though.

So I have a birthday update. Recently my mental health has been at a pretty steady 50/50, and my birthday (i.e. tomorrow) is when I have an actual first meeting with a counsellor. It’s during school, so I won’t be here at least for the beginning of the day. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but it’s kind of like a get-to-know-you meeting for the first one. I’m kind of excited, and kind of worried at the same time. I have a bunch of (unknown) problems with my mental health that I’ve told maximum 10 people as of now and I think it’ll be good to have someone else who is a trained professional in these premises about it who can help me and give me advice (even though I know a lot for someone of my age).

Also, after literal months of my mom talking about it after our dog died, I finally got to pick out a cremation necklace. It’s pretty and since I never heard of one until last year (long time, I know), I think it’s kind of a nice way for people who’ve been cremated to be remembered instead of sitting in an urn or a box for only god knows how long.

Speaking of death (I’m weird, okay), I’ve been thinking way too much of the “Helena” music video lately (it’s a good song, and if you like old rock with sad meanings behind it, go watch it). Like, imagine if your funeral went like that. Some random emo preacher yelling in front of a crowd of copy-paste people (because in 2004, that happened because you can’t fill that church in LA with enough people to make it look real) and crying on a not-even-dance floor when sing-screaming into a microphone while the crowd just sits and watches lifelessly. Also, a bunch of people creating a cult around your death bed and doing weird emo church movements. (Note: Revenge pants are very comfy, even when it’s 995894° (at least in summer, just don’t go outside)) <I had to sneak a way for me to geek out about My Chemical Romance in here somewhere

Also, not going outside (I’d prefer not to get skin cancer) (no, I’m not preach-y about it). Since I’m such a vampire, I basically never go outside and I look like the human embodiment of a sheet of loose leaf (funny, because I write on myself a lot), and I dress in black a lot. I saw this one story of some guys who got caught by the police at night and thought they were vampires. It was pretty cool. I feel like there’s this stereotype about emos and goths that they like sitting in cemeteries and are obsessed with blood, which isn’t that true (though, I could actually go to a cemetery any time I want to (I live a minute away from 2 of them). Sure, there are some people who do do that, and I think it’s mainly for aesthetic photos and weird posts. Personally, I’m not one to hang around a place full of dead bodies and graves, but the blood thing I don’t mind (as long as it’s fake, even though fake blood is sticky and a huge mess hint to joyriding music video). I’m not one of the people who’s deathly scared of blood, but in a situation where there’s a lot of it and it’s not under control, I might get a bit of adrenaline about it.

I like how this went from me talking about my therapy and birthday to just the most emo thing nowadays.

Some people might already know I love listening to: old rock, pre-2015 style rock, punk rock, pop punk, and alternative rock. But, my favourite song is very debatable. Some days, I’ll listen to a song I love continuously, and others, it doesn’t exist to me.

My favourite song, by far, right now, is probably “Welcome to the Black Parade” by My Chemical Romance (MCR). They released it as a single for their 2006 album, “The Black Parade”, and the music video has surpassed 200 million views on YouTube.

To give you a quick summary, the song starts off quite slow, on the piano. Around the one minute mark, it gets louder, and the first verse kicks in around 1:45. It goes pretty normal in the song build (Beg., Verse, Chorus, Verse two, Chorus, Bridge, Chorus, End), but adding to it, the song is just shy of being 5 ½ minutes long.

Some reasons I like it are because of the story within the song, the music video, and just the album itself.

It’s about a guy whose father took him to a parade when he was younger, and that became his fondest memory. Then, later, when he dies, he’s greeted by The Black Parade as, as the vocalist for the band says, a comfortable way for him to be lead on through death.

Another reason is the feelings it gives off. For some reason, it makes me feel really nostalgic, like happy to listen to the song, but sad that it was so long ago (approx. 15 years) and that it’ll never happen again. Nostalgia is a weird feeling, especially over a song that isn’t coherently sad or has a deep, sad meaning to it.

Along with the feeling of the song, the meaning behind it is also a part of why I like it.

Essentially, one of the main guitarist said that it was influenced by how parades symbolized death and war, and took place as a way to honour soldiers who died fighting passing on. The vocalist came up with the story as the song was written, and I think it’s a great meaning to have.

Next is the lyrics. This is a big reason why I like any song, and also how I realized I misheard roughly every second sentence in “Welcome to the Black Parade”. It kind of mislead me to the theme of the song. As an example, there’s one lyrics, “Your weary widow marches”, which I heard as “Well, really we don’t want you”. It made me look at the song as a “ha, you’re dead and there’s nothing to do now” song instead of a “well, you’re dead and people still have been caring” kind of song, which is weird on it’s own.

Also, I like how the story kind of fades in and out with the lyrics. There’s this one where it says, “I’m just a man, I’m not a hero, just a boy who had to sing this song”, which goes back to the guy dying and actually becoming the leader of The Black Parade. It might sound confusing, so you might have to actually listen and watch the music video to understand it completely.

The song itself is definitely one I’d listen to any time, any where, and I really appreciate how the band put in so much work towards the music video (Fun Fact: which was filmed in one day) and how it feels like they’re preforming their hearts out. These are all reasons why I love the song, and I highly recommend you listen to it, even just once.